By Carol Pearson
Back in 1997, the Indiana State Legislature actually held a vote as to whether or not to make the lightning bug, or firefly depending on your preference, the state insect. It appears they have finally decided to move beyond this exercise in futility and vote instead on whether the daily commuters on I-465 can be allowed to race each other to and from work, thereby freeing up tax-dollars that would normally be spent on police officers who issue speeding tickets.
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By Carol Pearson
Several months ago, NASCAR driver Ricky Rudd announced his retirement from the sport. While he cited the typical reasons given by most athletes (i.e. age, wanting to spend more time with family, etc.), the actual reason remained hidden until today.
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By Victor Li
In an unprecedented move, the organizers of the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) have proposed a radical solution to their current system; a system of determining a national champion in college football that has engendered nothing but controversy year-in and year-out.
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By Rusty Weiss
Newspaper columns are rarely hard up for shocking news when it comes to the world of entertainment or sports. Occasionally, quite unexpectedly, those worlds collide. Such is the case for one wayward pup named Scooby-Doo, and the ever growing saga that is steroid use in professional sports.
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By Victor Li
Bristol, CT — ESPN Headquarters is reeling over a stunning tragedy that occurred today. Longtime commentator and ESPN personality, Chris Berman, was gunned down in a bizarre and senseless act of violence. The culprit was his broadcast partner and on-air sidekick, Tom Jackson. Jackson, better known as “TJ,” opened fire at approximately 1:00 this morning, right after doing a live NFL-recap segment known as the “NFL Blitz.” According to sources at ESPN, Jackson stormed off the set, shaking his head and muttering “I can’t take it. I can’t take it anymore!” After a few minutes passed, he returned with his M-16 assault rifle and began to open fire at Berman. Jackson then shouted out: “That’s what you get for repeating the same jokes over and over again! All right?! If I have to hear you sing ‘My Sharona’ one more time whenever Rob Bironas hits a field goal, or hear you do a terrible rendition of ‘Mony Mony’ whenever Lawrence Maroney made a big play for New England, then I’ll go crazy! How does it feel, Chris?! Want to sing ‘San Diego… Super Chargers!!’ for me? Want to sing ‘If I Only Had a Brain’ whenever Marc Bulger throws a TD pass? Or talk about the New York Football Giants? Do they play in the Big Sombrero? Are they taking on the Rrrraaaiders? Huh? What do you say now, huh?”
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By Rob Dauster
Unless you have been living under a rock for the past six months, I’m sure you know the situation former Atlanta Falcon’s quarterback Michael Vick has gotten himself into. But just in case you have, let me refresh your memory. Vick financed an illegal dog fighting ring at the rural Virginia property he owned violating numerous state and federal laws regarding gambling and animal cruelty, lied in his plea agreement with federal prosecutors about being involved in the killings of “inadequate” dogs and about receiving any of the proceeds from the gambling, and then tested positive for marijuana violating the terms of his conditional release. Now that his sentence has been handed down, let’s take a look at what all of this has cost Vick: 23 months in federal prison, repayment of $20 million in bonuses, $70 million of the 10 year, $130 million contract extension he signed in 2004, an estimated $50 million in endorsement deals, $1 million for the kenneling of the confiscated dogs, and three banks suing him for defaulting on loans resulting in devastation to his credit score. All told, Vick stands to lose at least $141 million. How much money could he have possibly made off the dogfights to make it worth the risk of losing $141 million in guaranteed money? When your salary is $13 million a year, do you really need to partake in something illegal to make a few extra bucks? All this got me to thinking, which isn’t always the best thing for me to do, but is Vick the dumbest athlete ever? Let’s discuss….
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By Rusty Weiss
China – the source of recalled products from tainted toothpaste to toys with dangerous levels of lead – has been dealt yet another blow to its credibility. In light of a slew of recent scares, and a very wary public, the Beijing Olympic organizing committee (BOCOG) has decided to simply recall the 2008 Summer Olympics all-together.
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