Lame Sports

For Sake of Brevity, Mitchell Report Lists Those Who Didn’t Cheat

By Nick Maloney

In an unexpected turn, the reason the Mitchell Report has taken so long to come together was that former Senator George Mitchell was trying to find names in Major League Baseball not connected to steroid use.

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Baseball Drug Testing

By Da Schmooze

There has been brouhaha in the media, recently, about the fact that Major League Baseball Teams had knowledge several days in advance that super-secret drug testing would be performed at their stadiums, on their players.

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Gagne, Jones Cash in on Being Bad at Their Jobs

By Nick Maloney

Andruw Jones worst season in ten years earned him a 2-year, $36 million contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers this week for managing to hit .222, a whopping .22 points over the Mendoza line.

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Marlins to Pay 2008 Salaries in Food Stamps, Countless Players File for Chapter 11

By Nick Maloney

The Florida Marlins love to save money. If the Yankees and Red Sox shop at Armani Exchange and eat filet mignon, the Marlins must shop at Wal-Mart and be veteran Dollar Menunaires.

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Jonathan Papelbon Scoffs at Teammate…. (Headline)

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Selig Announces National League Will be Renamed ‘American League Lite’

By Rusty Weiss

With the announcement of yesterday’s blockbuster deal between the Detroit Tigers and the Florida Marlins, came more surprising news from the Commissioner’s Office. Bud Selig has announced that the National League will officially be renamed ‘American League Lite.’

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The Red Sox: New Public Enemy #1?

By Rob Dauster

Is it just me, or has this year’s installment of the baseball winter meetings been filled with more drama than usual? From trade rumors involving big name stars like Florida’s Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, Pittsburgh’s Jason Bay, Oakland’s Dan Haren, and Baltimore’s Miguel Tejada and Erik Bedard to the always exciting “see-who-the-most-overpaid-free-agent-is” waiting game (this year it is center fielders, with Torii Hunter setting the standard at 5 years, $90 million, but Andruw Jones and Aaron Rowand seem poised to give that mark a run for its money), it’s no wonder this time of year in baseball is known as the “Hot Stove”.

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Johan Santana Sweepstakes

By Nick Maloney

The baseball hot stove season is heating up this week, and the biggest offseason prize, Twins pitcher Johan Santana is being sought after by at least three teams. The Red Sox, Yankees and Mets have all admitted interest in the Minnesota ace, believed by everyone with any idea of what a baseball is to be the best left-handed pitcher in the Major Leagues.

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An Ode to Delmon Young

By Nick Maloney

We’ll miss you in Tampa, Delmon. We saw all the potential in the world in you. The sky was the limit, but even the Rays have their breaking point. You finished second in the Rookie of the Year voting in 2007, and yet a just a few short weeks later you’re gone.

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Joe Torre

By DA SCHMOOZE

DA SCHMOOZE would like to tip his hat to good old number 9 in pinstripes, Mr. Joe Torre.

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Bonds and Vick: A Tale of Two Athletes

By Ross Weingarten

Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and it’s time to reflect on all of the wonderful, inspiring stories that can be found all around the sports landscape today. There are so many, but a few that come to mind include Tony Romo’s ascension to NFL royalty from literal obscurity, the beautiful intermix of talent and new-found humility that is the Boston Celtics today, and the eternal hope found on campuses all around the country as college basketball teams gear up for another exciting march to the Final Four. No matter what you think of the teams involved, there are so many stories about athletes that force you to stop, smile, and remind yourself why you are so fond of these sports.

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Love/Hate-Rod

By Jason Levy

You have to love (or hate) Major League Baseball. Even after the season is over, the national pastime still dominates the back pages across America. The Hot Stove League is in full swing, as experts and fans pontificate where players will sign and which players will be swapped in an effort by teams to look good on paper.

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Bronx Bummers

By Steve Sherman

The city that never sleeps may want to turn their attention to Queens come spring. Fortunately, New Yorkers’ have two teams to choose from and next year the Mets may just have the comeback story of the century. The Yankees may be the largest team with the payroll and the hype, but frankly I’m getting sick of the drama. Sure you can dispose of A-Rod and switch managers, but the upper-management along with their postseason play makes me more nauseous than a sewer in Times Square. So let’s take a look at the two bits of drama the Kings of Greed, Mr. Steinbrenner and Mr. Rodriguez have brought the past few weeks.

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A-Rod to MLB teams: $350 million…but interesting offers welcome

By Colin J. Liotta

After opting out of the final three years of his contract with the Yankees last week, Alex Rodriguez and agent Scott Boras have stated they are looking for a 12 year deal worth around $350-$360 million.

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