Lame Sports

Brett a Jet

 

By Trel

Brett Farve will take a play from Junior Seau’s playbook and un-retire from the Packers and play for the Jets.

Forget the tampering charges filed against the Vikings. Favre is going to stay green, because of the “green”.

The Jets will sign Brett Favre and pay big bucks in the process. Big bucks is nothing new to Jets owner, Woody Johnson who is reportedly willing to spend whatever it takes in order to outshine his biggest rival, Redskins owner, Daniel Snyder. How does one outshine a man who made his mark in the NFL as someone who continually overspends for spent talent? Simply outspend him at his own game.

To unseat Snyder as the #1, cash shoveling megalomaniac, Woody only needs turn to the plethora of over-the-hill prolific athletes, who are looking for a cushy curtain call with the fringe benefits of an open checkbook and a fully fueled private plane. The ever growing pool of athletes who are making more, by doing less… i.e. collecting fat payday after fat payday on sneaker deals and other endorsements, while jockeying for future broadcasting gigs on major sports networks (all of which are located in close proximity in some capacity or another to NYC) can’t possibly all fit on one NFL roster; therefore affording the Jets organization a perfect opportunity to purchase the cliché of the AFC’s most overpaid and overrated roster… Something Snyder has garnished for years virtually unopposed.

How can two grossly overpaid teams that combine to virtually eliminate any chance for the rest of the league to compete be good for the league you ask? Please review the explosion in both fan attendance and revenue generation that the Red socks vs. Yankees revived and reinvigorated rivalry had on Baseball. Bottom line, the game grew faster than Barry Bonds’ arms and therefore this is exactly what the NFL needs. For the NFL is rapidly approaching a saturation in the market.

After the euphoria subsided from last years, “All Most Perfect Season”, the NFL has been desperately looking for the next big story. Since competition can’t get any better and the games are positioned to carry your emotional high with only a slight dip on Tuesday and Wednesday, what else is there? A fight between two big bullies. Two teams that are expected to win, who subsequently are also two teams that everyone wants to lose due to the fact that no one likes their owners. Sure Jerry Jones and Al Davis are not loved, but they have eaten pie for so many years now and advanced so significantly in age at this point that many people are now feeling sorry for them. “Can someone please stop Grandpa from peeing in the corner of the living room?”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s a win, win scenario. Not a win, win, win scenario mind you, because the fans will be screwed once again.

The Packers will play the Jets in the Super Bowl this year with all the drama and pageantry associated with a story that could never be written in a Hollywood studio.
Winners: The NFL, higher ratings, more TV revenue generation. The players, with the stage set for pay more, get more. (forget the fact that the Steelers and Patriots made it year after year to big Dance on paying their players pittance) will translate in to a larger salary cap. Losers: The fans. Higher payroll equates to higher ticket prices, parking fees and inevitably a more expensive hotdog and beer.

Of course the following year both teams will be lucky to go 4 - 12, but the damage will be done and race will continue until a third team has the deep pockets to enter the race, when the Dolphins finally step up to the plate and sign Montana and Rice.

“Yo, you really think they’ll pay us both that much coin?”
“Not only are they going to pay us, but we’re going to make more money in endorsements, from Geritol to Depends, than we made in salary in our entire careers… My agent even came up with a catchy new marketing name for us… White Rice and is about to cut us a deal with Uncle Ben’s.”
“Word? You aint playing your Homey?”
“Not only am I not playing you, but I only plan on playing 3 games max next season due to a blown shoulder.”
“You the man Joe!”