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Vlade Divac Flops When Told of Referee Allegations

By Rusty Weiss

In an interview late Wednesday evening, Vlade Divac, a star basketball player for the Sacramento Kings 2002 playoff team, was informed of the recent allegations made by disgraced referee Tim Donaghy.  Upon hearing these allegations, Divac immediately flopped to the floor as if he had been shot in the abdomen.

While he awaits his July 14^th sentencing for assisting professional gamblers and betting on NBA games himself, Donaghy has claimed that ‘company men’ manipulated the outcome of Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals in order to force a revenue generating Game 7.  The Sacramento Kings lost that game when the Los Angeles Lakers were awarded a staggering 27 free throws in the fourth quarter alone.

Divac defended Shaquille O’Neal during that series and frequently resorted to flopping in the hopes of drawing a charge from the much stronger O’Neal. 

After regaining his composure, Divac picked himself up the floor expecting to shoot free throws. 

“Sorry,” he said.  “Habit.”

Vlade’s impact on the NBA is being seen more prevalently in today’s game.

“Paul Pierce?  Wheelchair?  My idea,” he said, adjusting his Screen Actors Guild award on the wall.

Peja Stojakovic, a teammate of Divac’s in Sacramento, recalled “He was the father of flopping.”

Peja continued, “There were times when O’Neal would simply breathe on him the wrong way and we’d be like, look, there goes Vlade again, sailing through the air.  It was kind of funny.”

O’Neal himself said, “There was a reason I called them the Queens.  He was a drama queen.  There’d be times when I’d brush him with my elbow and he’s on the floor flailing in pain.  You’d have thought I clubbed him like a seal.”

Doug Christie, also a former teammate of Divac in Sacramento, spoke to reporters. 

“I don’t see why flopping is such a big deal,” he said.  “I mean, I have to lie down all the time when my wife is checking up on me.  It’s a useful tactic sometimes.  Um, hold on.  Jackie’s calling my cell.”

Christie then stomped his foot, adjusted his handbag on his shoulder, and spun away in a hissy fit.

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