Lame Sports

Disgruntled Midwest Town Tunes Out Super Bowl; Tunes In Wii Bowling

By Carol Pearson

Background:

As most people are aware, there was a big football game going on last Sunday. It was some sort of championship between two teams that were not located in the Midwest. One team was undefeated and the other team’s quarterback is the younger brother of the great Peyton Manning. Anyway, as a native Hoosier living in Chicago, I found the game to be totally pointless and have decided to focus instead on another weekend match-up that hits a bit closer to home. Oh, and if anyone is curious… The team that had been undefeated choked big time.

In what promised to be an historical event, Team One once again soundly defeated Team Two in the weekly Wii bowling tournament at The Sports Corner Bar in the Wrigleyville neighborhood in Chicago.  The two teams created the rivalry after their improv class a few weeks back when the group was kicked out of a different bar.  Team One was certainly prepared to stomp all over Team Two.  Team Two had the underdog factor going on and both members considered playing sober this week, so most everyone expected an upset.

“We are so going to kick your butts,” said Captain Mike of Team One.  He then stepped up and threw a strike. 

“In your face!” shouted Nick, the other Team One member.

“Oh yeah?  Well, not if I have anything to say about it” said Captain Chris of Team Two.  He then bowled two straight gutter balls.

“Crap,” said Alex, the other Team Two bowler.

The taunts continued in pretty much the same vein throughout the ten frames.  In the end, Team One had a combined score of 400 while Team Two barely squeaked by with 250.  When reached for comment immediately following the game, a spokeswoman for all four said they were probably going to go home to, “Sleep off the beer buzz and maybe catch part of that game that’s going on.  Personally, I’ll probably just watch the commercials.” 

Amen to that.