Lame Sports

Tom Brady Vows to Prove Lone Doubter Wrong

By Nick Maloney

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady took home the 2007 NFL Most Valuable Player award in near unanimous fashion, earning 49 of the 50 votes for the award.  Brady was humble and grateful in responding to the news, though he said it gave him an even greater fire to win it all this year.

“This is an absolute honor, and I couldn’t be more pleased.  Well, yeah actually I could, if that one idiot didn’t vote for Favre, then I’d be more pleased.  That’ll be motivation the rest of this year, to prove my doubter wrong.  He’ll know my wrath.  Screw him.

Frank Cooney, the lone media member who didn’t vote for Brady defended himself.

“Where would the Packers be without Brett Favre this year?  He’s eligible for social security and he still led his team to the playoffs.  He gives the people of Wisconsin a reason to get out of bed every day other than to milk cows.  That’s pretty impressive in my book, but then again people say I’m easily impressed,” he said.

Brady said he plans to look up Cooney’s address and mail him a threatening letter and a list of the statistical records he broke this year.

“I might just sleep with his wife and send him pictures after.  Then she can tell Cooney that I’m an MVP in the sack, too.”

Rumors abound that Brett Favre bribed the writer who voted for him, offering a large sum of money, free Wrangler Jeans and free Wisconsin cheese for life.  For most, cheese and a few bucks wouldn’t be nearly enticing enough, but for those from Wisconsin it’s a dream come true.

Since the original drafting of this article Brady has also won the Associated Press 2007 Offensive Player of the Year award.

Brady offered comment on the second award in a week.

“It makes me happier than waking up next to Gisele every morning.  Okay, that’s total crap.  I choose hooties over trophies.”

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