Lame Sports

Other Manning is Still in the Playoffs

By Carol Pearson

Football fans everywhere were scratching their heads when the Indianapolis Colts, last year’s Super Bowl champs, were knocked out by the San Diego Chargers and The New York Giants beat the Dallas Cowboys.  It seems most people have been under the impression that Peyton Manning is a stronger quarterback than his brother Eli and should, therefore, have had an easier time of getting his team to the next round.

“I am beyond shocked,” said a random football fan and former player named Archie who asked that his last name not be used.  “Honestly, I think Peyton should have been able to pull off a victory more than the other one… what’s his name?  He’s always been the stronger of the two.”

Peyton Manning also indicated a certain level of surprise, but explains why a Colts’ loss might have been in everyone’s best interest.  “Everyone knows you can’t have two Mannings on the field at the same time as it causes an irreparable rip in the space time continuum.” 

At this, Dallas Clark tapped Manning on the shoulder and said, “You do remember playing high school football with your brother Cooper and that you and Eli have played against each other recently, right?”

“What!?!  You mean we didn’t have to lose.  Oops.  Sorry about that, guys.”  

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