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Believe the Hype - A Super Lame Prediction

 

By Jason Levy

Here we go.  After a harrowing bye week that forced football fans across the country to (gulp!) spend a Sunday away from the TV, the big game is upon us.  And Super Bowl XLII is a match for the ages.  The unbeaten, three-time champion New England Patriots versus the upstart, road warrior New York Giants.  Boston versus New York.  Bill Belichick versus fellow Parcells-disciple Tom Coughlin.  Tom Brady versus the younger Manning.  A rematch of the week 17 spectacle in the Meadowlands, in which the Pats needed a ferocious 2nd half comeback to stay unbeaten, and the game that allowed the Giants to believe in themselves.  This Super Bowl will live up to the hype. 

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Filed under: CommentaryFootball


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Vikings Trade Entire Team for Two of Herschel Walker’s Personalities

 

By Rusty Weiss

Shades of ‘The Trade’ have come back to haunt Minnesota Viking fans.  Perhaps being a bit over-exuberant, Vikings GM Rob Brzezinski jumped on the recent news of Herschel Walker’s Herschel Walker Cooks Chickenpersonality disorder. Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Football


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IOC Elects to Hold Separate Olympics for Dopers

 

By Carol Pearson 

Tired of having to sort through countless tests, not to mention the appeals by athletes and press conferences by various parties, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has developed a new way to deal with the doping issue.  The new system will be tried out in the 2008 Summer Olympics, with a possible 2010 Winter Games trial depending on how things go this year. 

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Filed under: Olympics


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Favre Choking On and Off the Field

 

By Chris St. Jacques

Green Bay, WI - Packer fans around the world had a scare today as reports started to come in about Brett Favre’s condition.  Thankfully he is now “out of the woods and in the clear”, according to local doctor who was on the scene at the time of the incident.

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Filed under: Football


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L.T. Reveals Reasons for Quitting

By Victor Li

With his team fighting for a birth in the Super Bowl against the mighty, undefeated New England Patriots, San Diego’s best player was nowhere to be seen.  LaDainian Tomlinson, the All-Pro running back and the leading rusher in the NFL, was seated squarely on the bench, stoically staring at the field behind the visor of his helmet.  Many people have wondered how it was possible that the best running back in the NFL could possibly sit out a game of this magnitude.  Was he injured?   Was he quitting on his team?   Was he afraid of failure?   Was he in awe of Tom Brady’s sexiness?  Until now, we’ve only been able to speculate as to the reason why LT sat out for most of the AFC Title Game. 

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Filed under: Football


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Tomlinson Excited to Watch Super Bowl on His Vizio

 

By Nick Maloney

Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson may not be playing in the Super Bowl, but with his new high-def Vizio TV he says it’ll feel just like being there.

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Filed under: Football


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Brady Regrets Fashion Statement

 

By Rusty Weiss

Describing it as ‘simply a fashion statement,’ Tom Brady has mulled the effects of wearing a walking boot to his girlfriend’s apartment.

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Filed under: Football


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Celtics to Sign T-Pain

By Thomas Mundt 

BOSTON, MA -  Celtics Director of Basketball Operations Danny Ainge announced Monday that the franchise is close to finalizing a deal with R&B sensation T-Pain, with the crooner expected to join the squad before next week’s 10-game West Coast swing.  The terms of the deal are thus far undisclosed.

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Filed under: Basketball


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Knight Notches Number 900

By Carol Pearson 

Long-time NCAA basketball coach Bob Knight made history Wednesday night by leading a team to victory for the 900th time in his career.  Knight, who is currently coaching at Texas Tech, was naturally thrilled, but many reporters were rather hesitant to interview him, thereby making it difficult to get any decent sound bites after the game. 

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Filed under: Basketball


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Archie Manning Recognizes Eli as His Son

By Nick Maloney 

Former NFL quarterback Archie Manning, father of Colts quarterback Peyton, today admitted he has another son named Eli.  A son whom he had disowned for his entire life until last Sunday.

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Filed under: Football


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Philip Rivers Talks Trash During Make-A-Wish Visit

By Victor Li 

Eight-year old Timmy McCormick was suffering from cancer and was told he had about year to live.  He was in terrible pain and could barely muster the energy to get out of bed, let alone go outside to play with his friends.  The only time he spent out of bed was to go to the bathroom to throw up, a side-effect of his chemotherapy.  Timmy was depressed and in low spirits.  He had lost all of his hair.  He had no friends to play with.  He had almost no shot at survival.  Timmy did not have much to live for and both he and his family knew it. 

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Filed under: Football


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Publicist: “Owens Was Not Crying”

By Aaron Weaver

In a surprising turn of events, Kim Etheridge, publicist of Terrell Owens released a statement today claiming that the superstar receiver did not cry during a post-game press conference after the Cowboys’ loss on Sunday. 

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Filed under: Football


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Conference Championship Predictions

By Jason Levy

Enjoy it football-freaks.  Sunday is the last day until September we can watch two football games on the same day.  Conference Championship Sunday is the best football day of the year, surpassing the drawn-out hype and pageantry of the Super Bowl, plus it’s twice the football, often with teams that have a history together.  This Sunday’s games are no different.  Before the picks, let’s look at the hype for the potential Super Bowl match ups:

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Filed under: Football


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NBA to Replay Entire 2006-2007 Season

By Thomas Mundt

NEW YORK, NY - NBA Commissioner David Stern announced Monday that the entire 2006-2007 season will be replayed, upon the conclusion of the 2008 Finals in June.  The announcement follows the Association’s recent decision to replay the final 51.9 seconds of December 19’s controversial Hawks-Heat contest.

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Filed under: Basketball


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Amputee Sprinter Ruled Ineligible for Olympics

By Victor Li

Would-be Olympians have breathed a huge sigh of relief following the IAAF’s ruling that double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius is ineligible for the Beijing Olympics because his prosthetics give him an unfair advantage.  The International Association of Athletics Federations had found that the kinetic energy generated from spring-action of Pistorius’ “Cheetah” blade prosthetics, allowed him to expend less energy than able-bodied sprinters.  However, the IAAF found that the blades constituted an illegal performance enhancer that give Pistorius a significant advantage over his competitors. 

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Filed under: Olympics


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