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Dec
2007
MLB Steroid Report
By Da Schmooze
First, Barry Bonds.
Now, Roger Clemens.
What next, revelations that the great Mickey Mantle drank too much?!
Ex Senator Mitchell’s report contained plenty of tawdry elements, but none as scary as the picture it burned in Da Schmooze’s brain of a half naked Roger Clemens bending over and having his personal trainer inject him with performance enhancing drugs, directly into his buttocks.
That’s not an image anyone wants fans to think symbolizes the current state of America’s game.
While Da Schmooze would never condone the use of illegal drugs, in his heart he feels that the end result of this report will be that MLB will add even more rules to its already overflowing rule book.
Which has resulted in the game Da Schmooze had fond memories growing up with being a thing of the past.
These days, pitchers can’t throw beanballs.
Runners can’t slide with cleats up, into second base.
Coaches can’t even kick dirt on the umpires when they disagree with a call.
To say nothing about what it’s done to the clubhouse.
No girlfriends/strippers allowed.
No open containers of alcohol allowed.
Heck, you can’t even chew tobacco, anymore.
Have you any idea how pansy-ass it looks to see a rough and tough major league baseball player eating pumpkin seeds!
Healthy, schmealthy!
If Da Schmooze wanted “healthy” he’d go on a Mediterranean diet, lose twenty pounds and exercise daily.
It aint gonna happen.
Nor should the imposition of even more restrictive rules on our national pastime.
What next, making second basemen and shortstops actually step on second base before throwing to first for a double play?!
PUH-LEASE!
That’s all Da Schmooze, for now.
Ciao!
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