Lame Sports

Go Crazy! Oklahoma Wins ESPNU Make Believe BCS Playoff

By Nick Maloney

“Oklahoma just won the national championship!”

“No they didn’t. That was made up.”

“Crap… “

As if ESPN could frustrate its viewers more, this whole debate run they’ve been on for the past four months is starting to drive me nuts. It started with the whole “Who’s Now?” debate/tournament to crown the most “Now” (marketed, successful, known, etc.) athlete in the world, and now moved on to making up a would be Bowl Championship playoff tree for NCAA football and allowing Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso debate it. I need a drink already.

Search “Oklahoma wins title” on youtube if you have no idea what I’m talking about.

Here’s an actual quote from Lee Corse in the segment: “I’m leaning towards Oklahoma and maybe because I just recently saw them live and in color. I’ve seen them twice and both times they’ve won.”

Wow Lee, you must be their friggin’ good luck charm! How’s that for world class college football analysis? I swear to God my grandmother could give that kind of breakdown. It’s more annoying than your girlfriend cheering for a team because she likes their uniforms and mascot.

I’ve always wondered when Lee Corso’s age would really start to kick in and we’d get see him start to go senile on the air and Kirk has to give him his meds during segments. Search Oklahoma wins title on youtube if you have no idea what I’m talking about.

I guess that time has come.

I’ve got a new segment for ESPN to try out.

“Who’s retarded?”

The producer who came up with the idea for the fake BCS would win that one hands down. Even with John Madden and Chunk from the Goonies in his bracket.

Listen, everyone realizes the BCS system is terribly flawed, especially in a season as crazy at this past one. Still, the land of Make-Believe should be reserved for Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and his train sets, not a national sports network.

There are so many arguments against this sort of thing it’s unbelievable. First, Herbstreit and Corso agreed on EVERY round of the made up “BCS Playoff.” There is no way they actually agreed on every match-up, it was all rigged so it’d go more smoothly. Secondly, the idea that only two analysts’ opinions matter on something that incorporates the nation’s 14 top teams is insane, especially when one of them.

What would happen if they didn’t agree every time? What would be the tiebreaker? And if they have agreed every time, what is the point of them arguing with each other? It’s just a bad idea carried out in an even crappier way.

Do you think the University of Oklahoma campus went wild when the announcement was made? I can’t even imagine how it would look if some losers on campus actually got excited about this. I just laughed out loud imagining police in riot gear controlling students foaming at the mouth over a made up championship.

If ESPN did nothing else in this charade at least it made me chuckle. I wonder when the championship gear will be available for purchase. I bet it’d make for a great stocking stuffer.

© LameSports.net