Lame Sports

LPGA Star Christina Kim … (Headline)

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Donovan McNabb Falls to Campbell’s Chunky Soup Curse

By Nick Maloney

He missed last Sunday night’s game against the Patriots in New England with a right ankle sprain and swollen thumb, an injury which most quarterbacks in one of the biggest games of the season, would have played with. Philly fans are starting to question their franchise quarterback, but he has laurels to fall back on.

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An Ode to Delmon Young

By Nick Maloney

We’ll miss you in Tampa, Delmon. We saw all the potential in the world in you. The sky was the limit, but even the Rays have their breaking point. You finished second in the Rookie of the Year voting in 2007, and yet a just a few short weeks later you’re gone.

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Denver Nuggets Forward Bobby Jones… (Headline)

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NHL’s Habs Defeat Leafs in Night of The Zamboni

By Pete Andrew Sacco Ph.D.

In last nights Toronto Maples Leafs/Montreal Canadians NHL game the Zamboni operator would have made the Marx Brothers proud. Heck, for that matter he probably had them rolling in their graves in laughter!

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Sean Taylor

By Ross Weingarten

At 10:00 this morning, while on a train from my hometown of Washington, D.C. back to my adopted hometown of New York, I got a text from my best friend. “Did you hear?” I responded negatively. Thirty seconds later, his response came: “Sean Taylor is dead.”

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Michigan University Stuns Faithful… (Headline)

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Joe Torre

By DA SCHMOOZE

DA SCHMOOZE would like to tip his hat to good old number 9 in pinstripes, Mr. Joe Torre.

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Playoffs?! You Kiddin’ Me? Playoffs?!

By Jason Levy

Whenever I hear a BCS apologist defend the computer ranking system that determines the college football champions, they always say how the sport doesn’t need a postseason playoff tournament because the regular season serves as a playoff. If a team loses, they drop out of title contention, and when all is said and done two undefeated teams battle for the championship. But what happens in football when every team loses in this playoff format? How do we really know which the top two teams in the country are?

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Belichick Set to Clothesline Fashion Industry

By Harlan Sherwin

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is branching out from his football duties. According to highly placed sources in the fashion industry, Belichick is set to release his own line of clothing under the corporate name Hoodies Inc.

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Mercury Objects to the Phrase ‘Mercurial Receiver’

By Rusty Weiss

We’ve heard the phrase several times before, probably without much thought. It is attached to some of the more controversial receivers in the NFL today: Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, and Chad Johnson, to name a few.

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Bird, McHale and Parish to Unretire and Play for Boston

By Freddy Cohen

Ending days of rumor and speculation, the original Celtics “Big 3” are headed back to Boston to once again play for the Celtics. Returning to the franchise that they led to 3 NBA Championships during the 1980’s, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish believe that they can help the current Celtics return to prominence this season. Read the rest of this entry »

Shock Therapy

By Harlan Sherwin

To: The American Psychological Association

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Own Goal: The Ultimate Soccer Blooper

By Dina Ely

Picture this: Your team has possession. The goal keeper throws the ball your way to preserve the pace of play. You have plenty of space and teammates around you to take the ball forward. You’re almost at the halfway line, but you think your keeper can do better. So you send the ball back to him, ostensibly for a goal kick and better clearance.

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Bonds and Vick: A Tale of Two Athletes

By Ross Weingarten

Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and it’s time to reflect on all of the wonderful, inspiring stories that can be found all around the sports landscape today. There are so many, but a few that come to mind include Tony Romo’s ascension to NFL royalty from literal obscurity, the beautiful intermix of talent and new-found humility that is the Boston Celtics today, and the eternal hope found on campuses all around the country as college basketball teams gear up for another exciting march to the Final Four. No matter what you think of the teams involved, there are so many stories about athletes that force you to stop, smile, and remind yourself why you are so fond of these sports.

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