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Vlade Divac Flops When Told of Referee Allegations

 

By Rusty Weiss

In an interview late Wednesday evening, Vlade Divac, a star basketball player for the Sacramento Kings 2002 playoff team, was informed of the recent allegations made by disgraced referee Tim Donaghy.  Upon hearing these allegations, Divac immediately flopped to the floor as if he had been shot in the abdomen.

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Clemens Latest Alleged Affair Involved Eight Belles

 

By Rusty Weiss 

In the tumultuous world that is the sexual history of Roger Clemens, perhaps the most disturbing news has come from an anonymous source at the Daily News today.  In their continued effort to uncover the many alleged affairs of Clemens, the Daily News is reporting that he and Eight Belles had an alleged intimate relationship.  The most stunning news isn’t that this was yet another affair for a married man with four children.  No, it was that the alleged relationship began when Ms. Belles was no more than a foal.

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Ronaldo Deeply Regrets Getting Prostitute’s Phone Number from Eddie Murphy

 

By Rusty Weiss

RonaldoBrazil striker Ronaldo says he’s sorry, embarrassed and ashamed that he ever consulted long time friend Eddie Murphy before calling for a prostitute.  After his highly publicized encounter a week ago with three cross-dressing prostitutes, the soccer star called his error in judgment the biggest mistake of his life.

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A-Rod Purchases Entire Marlins Team

By Kevin Moran 

Marlins’ owner, Jeffrey Loria, has agreed in principle to sell the team to Yankees’ third baseman Alex Rodriguez, according to a Major League Baseball official speaking on the condition of anonymity.  The deal is contingent upon the approval of Commissioner Bud Selig. The commissioner could not be reached for comment Monday night, but he is not expected to impede the sale.                                                                                               

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Ultimate March Madness Advice

By David Gignilliat

Along with the crack of the bat in spring training and the wall-to-wall coverage of the marathon NFL draft, the NCAA men’s basketball tournament ranks among the most cherished and anticipated rites of spring for dedicated television-watching sports fans. When the brackets come out each year, you’ll typically find two types of columns written by sportswriters. 

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Pirates Impressed with Crystal, Sign Comedian to Multi-Year Contract

By Victor Li 

The Yankees thought they were giving superfan Billy Crystal a nice gift for his 60th birthday.  A one-day contract.  A uniform with the number “60″ on it.  A spot in the lineup as a Designated Hitter against the Pittsburgh Pirates.   However what started out as a one-shot publicity stunt has turned into something much more. 

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Prize for Next Year’s Iditarod Winner: Coffee

By Carol Pearson

Organizers for the famed Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race have announced plans to revamp the awards given out for winning.  The idea came this year when Lance Mackey pulled out his second consecutive victory in the contest. 

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Golfer Kills Hawk; Gets Support From VP

By Carol Pearson 

Professional golfer Tripp Isenhour got into a bit of trouble for killing a rare bird on December 12 with a golf ball.  It seems Isenhour was upset that the hawk was making too much noise while he was trying to shoot a video.

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Daly Defeats Tiger in Beer Drinking Competition, 8 and 7

By Rusty Weiss 

As Tiger Woods continues his domination of seemingly every golf tournament he enters, signs of vulnerability off the course have crept into his repertoire.  Never has this been more apparent than at a recent impromptu Accenture Beer Chugging Championship in Marana, Arizona.

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Local Goat Can’t Shake ‘Curse of the Cubs’

 

By Rusty Weiss 

Lonely.  Isolated.  Such is the life of one unfortunate local goat.

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Brett Favre Not Sure What to Eat for Breakfast

 

 By Rusty Weiss

Brett Favre is continuing a seven year trend this offseason, not divulging to his employers one way or the other as to his status for the upcoming season.  Wisconsin is all abuzz.  Will he come back for another season after last year’s renaissance?  Or is it time to call it a career?  Favre’s off-field indecision has become as much legend as his on-the-field prowess.

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